so this is christmas and what have you done?

Another year over and the gods alone know what the new one holds. I've never felt so indecisive about the future. The coming summer is a nexus point in so many ways as the family splits apart, each one finding their own way way in the world. It's going to be strange to be alone after such a long time. It doesn't matter that last few years have been full of dispute and foolish arguments. We still spent time together even as we dealt with our differences but that seems to be at an end. I don't know if we'll end up half the city or half the world apart but it will happen and I will have to deal with it. Maybe it's time to exercise a little constructive selfishness and ask myself what I've been setting aside that would have meant something to me had I just done it? The best way to tackle change is head-on with eyes and dreams wide open. I hope I can do it.

so where did the year go again?

I wish I could say that the reason I haven't added anything to this blog since the summer was because my fascinating everyday life has kept me so busy doing wonderful things that I just couldn't even squeeze out the tiniest morsel of joy for my reader to enjoy. Unfortunately the true reason is probably closer to apathy then anything else.

And speaking of apathy, hey look! It's christmas again. Oh boy. Has it ever occurred to you how much nicer an experience it is giving (and getting) presents at a time where it isn't culturally mandated? I guess one can always use more socks but seriously? Why?

My son was born on December 18th and I have always put a fair amount of effort in preventing his birthday from being subsumed into the whole christmas thing. That in turn led me to believe in the joy of giving the unexpected present as being the far superior practice.

I mean I will give christmas presents, both to family and friends. Just don't expect it to end there...

you can put the rock in the boy but you can't get the rock outta their heads

I was talking with a friend over the weekend and the subject of games consoles came up. I happened to mention casually how much I hated RockBand/GuitarHero and their clones to be greeted with astonishment. "But aren't they introducing a generation of kids to classic songs?"

Well, yes they are. But they're also close to destroying any chance of those kids ever playing any of that music.

Warning: 'get-off-my-lawn' moment coming up here folks: I heard some great music when I was growing up, some of it by chance and some of it I actively sought out. It inspired me to pick up a guitar and figure out how to play it. Now good music is inspiring your kids to do what? Push some buttons quickly. What they are learning has no connection to playing music whatsoever and could be said to be making it impossible to learn. After all if you can figure out four buttons, post your video on YouTube and become an overnight hero what incentive is there to sit down with six real strings and learn how to play an actual guitar. Hard work, takes years, includes many, many moments of frustration. Four buttons is much easier.

For those who deplore the descent of the creative force of music into formularised industry and Justin Bieber - look no further then your own front room for one of the reasons.

it's been a while

No matter how much I try things never get to the point where blogging actually matters which I'm well aware is probably terribly blasphemous and stuff. And, as I don't know if anyone really reads this drivel, I guess that makes it easy to ignore the occasional faint desire to make more regular entries. Still there will no doubt be times when one wants to pull out the dusty soapbox from it's home under the desk and pontificate in the general direction of the internet. With that in mind I'll continue to pollute the ether with my random thoughts. So until the next eruption - good night and have a nice life.

for ever in your debt

For ever in your debt. As a style of manners it has value. As a lifestyle choice I'm not so sure. I spent a moment or two over Christmas considering my own values. Of course I gave presents to my family. I like to think I even thought about them in terms of what the recipient would appreciate and enjoy. However, unlike previous years I refused to go beyond my means this time around. I'm almost done climbing out from under a pile of debt accumulated over several years and I have no plan to go back there. Now, even a simple thing like running up the credit card a bit to buy "better" presents makes me nervous. I read of people living from paycheck to paycheck, which I have done for a long time. Then I remember living from next month's paychecks to the month afters's. I don't want to go back there again. Maybe things will get better but I intend to make sure I don't make my own life any worse then it has to be.